Journey of a Manic Woman

I have had bad dreams, night terrors, visions, and voices as long as I can remember. I was also an abused child and an abused teen. However, my genes are genetic. My half brother who died from suicide was manic. I have an aunt and an uncle both on my mother's side who were manic. If I could describe how I lived, it would be like living in hell most of the time. I am constantly always on a watch, and am afraid most of the time. If I could stop this feeling, and heal others, I would do it in a heart beat. I would just try to find a way to keep my gorgeous creativity, which I doubt that we'd be able to still have it after our bipolar is gone. For those of you who don't know me, I am a manic princess. Thus the title of my blog : Journal of a Manic Depressive. I am a mother, a wife, and a woman, and sometimes I call myself the manic wife! lol! That's a running joke around here in this house. My husband is far from manic. He loves the un-predictability of my ways. He likes never knowing which way is up. Never knowing if I am going to be happy, sad, depressed, or manic. I love my manic highs! Especially, when I am really elated. If they were gone, I am not sure how I'd live my life, because I don't know what life would be like without them. I am entitled to dream aren't I?